Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
