I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize