every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
