I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
