He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
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