woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
