Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
