what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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