Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
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