i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
me + whiskey = a bad person
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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