I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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