Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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