I like to think it a success when the cops are called
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I love you. Go after that dick
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
