I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
