A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
