Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
