hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
