U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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