I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
