there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
