The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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