I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
You can't just leave with hair like that
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize