Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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