..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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