It's like God shit irony all over that family
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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