a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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