she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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