you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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