woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
