This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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