I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Do you have feelings for this penis?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
