they need to just BURY HIM!
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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