O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
