I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We just shotgunned beers for America
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
