I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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