that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
