your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
