Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
