school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Dicks are not precious.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
