I hate all girls vehemently.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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