As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
