Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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