omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
