the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
