He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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