I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
