The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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