He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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