We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
