I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
