Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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