i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize