I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
