How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
