It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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