it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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