worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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