I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
