Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
