This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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