Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
