Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
