Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
