I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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