u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
